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Friday, March 6, 2009

Growing Moments!!!

My heart aches a bit. Tonight I said goodbye to my hubby for a few weeks. We have been through a lot the past months and have grown so close. I know we can handle this. It is not the first time we have been separated during pregnancy. I know Chloe needs him at this time. My dear Chloe it’s been 2 weeks since I have seen her. I am sure I miss her, a lot more than she misses me. I can’t wait for her and Jared to fly here and see me in a few weeks. I wish I could see Chloe when Jared arrives home. I am sure she will be so excited. He bought her a darling doll and I am sure he will sleep close to her and hold her tight.
Jared has been so amazing helping get me through surgery. I have only seen my husband cry maybe three times in our 4 ½ years of marriage and to see him cry as they wheeled me to surgery was the most powerful sign that I am loved. He has had to do things for me these past weeks that I could never have imagined him every having to do for me. He definitely would not have done them with out the compassion he has for me. But he did it with such kindness and love for me. He waited on me hand and foot all hours of the night. Picked my body up and moved it when I couldn’t move it my self. It’s a good thing he is strong. What would I do with out him making me laugh, wheeling me in my wheelchair the past couple of days. He brought me a beautiful daisy a couple of days after surgery. Our wedding flower, I think daisies our such happy flowers by far my favorite flower.
My parents have been amazing to watch Chloe. I think Chloe is so confused of what is going on my dad watched her for a week while mom was here with me. She had a blast with papa. They went shopping for chore clothes so she could help him on the farm. He took her and another little girl to Mcdonalds, Chloe got scared and would not come down from the top. My dad kept trying to send other kids up to get her but she would not come down. So he had to climb up and get her. I guess it was the sight of Tremonton, because my mom got text of papa and Chloe in the McDonalds play ground. They made a house under the kitchen table where Chloe ended up falling a sleep for a nap. I will post a picture of that sometime. They played with Jake’s Russian hat. He did her hair everyday and she loves when papa does her hair and won’t let anyone else touch it. They went to the beauty shop to get Papa’s haircut and while she was there she told a lady that her mom was on an airplane to get baby brother better and when mom comes back she will be happy. Doesn’t that break your heart what a two year old feels. Thanks dad for taking such good care of “my princess”. I love you!
Now I am laying here in bed waiting for my best friend, my mom to arrive. She is amazing. Taking all this time off of work to help me. I am excited for her to come, we plan to do a few fun things while she is here with me. Off course in a wheel chair. Who ever thought my mom would be “wheelin” me around.


Dave and KayDee said...

Again, you are so amazing! Thank you so much for sharing your story and your feelings. It is truly inspiring to read! It makes me feel truly grateful for the blessings I have, for the gospel and to live in America and have the technology to even have a surgery like you went through. What a blessing to have such an amazing husband and parents like you do too.
I heard the story about Chloe at McDonald's... the little girl (Mattie) that went with your dad is in my class. She came to school the next day and told me about Chloe. She loved playing with Chloe and your dad. Chloe is definitely in good hands while you are away. :) Thanks again for your amazing strength and faith in Heavenly Father.

Kami said...

Oh my darling Jessica! I am amazed at your courage and optimism...I am so proud to have you as a friend! Reading about your sweet dad taking such good care of chloe (I'm amazed at how far he's come...I remember how-just a year or so ago-he was calling your mom to come change diapers when he was watching Chloe) just makes me cry! What an amazing family! You're in my thoughts and prayers always! Love you!

Tashina said...

Jess, your post made me cry! You are so brave! I loved reading about your dad and Chloe- what an amazing grandpa he must be! And, I absolutely love that he does her hair! You are amazing, I can't say it enough! I love ya! And, as always, you and your family are in our prayers! Have so much fun with your mom, and get feeling better!

Rick and Rachael Underwood said...

Wow jess, you have to be one of the bravest, most amazing people I have ever met! To go through all of that for your child is such a huge sign of what a loving self-less mom you are. you are in all of my prayers and good luck!!

Whitney said...

Jess you are an amazing person. Reading this post made me tear up in amazement of what you are going through. What a wonderful Mom Tyson has to look forward to meeting and having in his life. You are one brave cowgirl and I hope you know how much I look up to you. Let me know if there is anything I can do, everyone in the neighborhood is ready and willing to help with Chloe whenever needed. Love ya Jess!

Aunt Jill said...

Dear Mom,

WOW! What a ride this has been! When I grow up I think I'll be a famous bronco rider, or maybe a wrestler like Uncle Jake. We have been through a lot, huh? I want you to know that I have the best parents in the whole world EVER. All the sacrifices, worry and love you have poured into getting me here is beyond miraculous. I will never be able to thank you enough for taking such good care of me.

I can't wait to grow up enough so I can get outta here. It has been a heck of a long time to wait to be able to streeettch and to wiggle. I'll miss my waterbed, and I'll miss the comfort and security of knowing just where you are at all times, but it will be nice to be able to hang some pictures of me on a real wall. The pad I'm in now, well . . . the walls just aren't conducive to hanging up pictures and the reception for my I-POD, and plasma screen TV (sigh) leaves a lot to be desired.

Hey thanks, Mom, for taking such good care of me these last, has it been, un, eleven months? I know it hasn't been easy for you but I knew I could count on you. You and dad know what is best for me. I know it's been really scary for you guys, wondering how this will all turn out. But you know what? Heavenly Father is watching over us all the time and he has assigned a real cool angel to be with's Great Grandpa Madsen. He and I have had a lot of great visits about when he knew you when you were a little girl. He told me about the time he was in a plane crash and it broke his back and he swam all across Utah Lake to get help! Is that story true?

It will be kinda scary coming out . . . I'm just not sure what to expect. All these months I've had the security of listening to your heart beat or to hear your quiet voice, and I've had my waterbed and all the food I wanted. And, sometimes . . . late at night, I've thought, . . . hmmmmm, pizza sounds good or maybe a piece of candy and sometimes . . . just sometimes . . . you'd listen to me and down it would come. Yummmmm!

I know everything will be okay after I make my trip down "the canal" and see you and Dad. I can't wait to see my sister, I know she will always watch out for me. And I can't wait to meet all my cousins, aunt and uncles and my grandpa's and grandma's. I've got a lot of family, huh?! I can hear you and Dad talk, you can't wait until I get there, but of course who wouldn't, I'm a real likeable kinda kid.

Once I get out of here, heck it'll be a snap. I'll have you and Dad wrapped around my little finger . . . you won't know what hit you. You'll be so amazed at all I can do, you will want to bring in the neighbors, and the relatives to just watch me sleep and eat and yawn and breathe and roll over and poop.

I don't want to get too mushy or anything but I want you to know that I do love you and Dad and my big sister, Chloe, a whole bunch already and I am so glad that you decided to have me. You'll be glad you did.

Well, I guess I better get some sleep now . . . (yawn) . . . I'm gettin' kind of tired (yawn) doin' all this talkin'. Oh, Great Grandpa said it would help us both to remember that someday we will be together FOREVER. He said he still has lots of stories to tell me about you and to remind you he is close by and he is watching over both of us . . . our "garden angel" he said. Oh, and he told me to be sure not to forget this part. . . . he said to tell you he loves you very much and that he will be with us when this lucky world gets to see me.

Love always & forever - your son, Tyson

All About Us said...

I have told you this before, but you are so tough. I am crying my eyes out reding this. I feel for you. I wish I could be there to do something for you. You are definately alot tougher than I am. You have faith like no one else I know. Keep it that is what helps everything. We love you, and are praying for you like crazy. Best of luck

Leesee Girlyfield said...

My heart just aches for you Jessica. This totally sucks that you have to go through all this!!! You better have the best life ever after all this is over because you certainly deserve it. I'm so glad you have so much support from your parents and hubby. You guys are such an inspiration for others! Tyson is sure lucky to have such a wonderful, loving mother!

Kristi said...

I am so glad that you are doing wonderful. Can I just tell you how fun and cute Chloe is. She and Kailee had so much fun with their babies. She talked about Tyson and how excited she is for him to come. She also talked about you and Jared. Kailee loved having her here and I was sad to say bye to her when your Mom came to pick her up! What amazing little girl you have! You are one lucky girl Jess. Jared is amazing!! I always knew that he would take care of you! He is that type of person! I remember back at the college days when he put rose petals all over our room just for you! He is so sweet. I am happy that your Mom gets to spend sometime with you. She is so sweet! I love her to death. Good luck girl. Hang in there. You are amazing and you will get through this. I love you to death Jess. Thanks for your friendship. Let me know if I need to take Chloe again! Loves

Corinne said...

I am so glad that everything went well and that you are feeling better. I miss you and think of you daily. Everyone here at work is thinking of you too. Know that you are loved. I have been so touched and amazed at the strength you've shown through all of this. I am so glad to have you as a friend. Hope to here from you soon. All my love
Corinne :)


these pictures are so amazing! far better then mine! i am so glad that there is blogging so i can follow you on this journey. sometimes its really hard for me to read ... i am sure you can understand why. other times i am so grateful that i am not alone.

sounds like chloe is well cared for!!! doing some fun things. never forget that she chose this too, she chose to be tysons sister. she is strong enough and she will be such an amazing person through this life long experience, just as you & jared will be too!

your constantly in my thoughts and prayers!

Melissa said...

That is so sweet about your dad!! What a great grandpa. And Chloe's sweet little comments about Tyson's surgery and 'then mommy will be happy'. Its so beautiful how they think. I loved this post. You made me cry when you were talking about being wheeled to surgery. I can't imagine the feelings you both were going through. I'm sure this has brought you two soo close.

Your Aunt Jill's little letter from Tyson is the most beautiful thing I've ever read. I of course cried. You should make sure you keep a copy of that. You know that is exactly how that little man precives things. He can't wait to get here and be held in your loving arms, ohh jessica. I'm sooo sorry for what you have been through.

I wonder what your days consist of. I was thinking today you are probably bed rest and you just kind of hang around. Well we have all the copies of 'Everybody loves Raymond' and 'The Office'. We will most definantly send them with Jared on his way out in a couple of weeks. That would maybe help pass the time and definatly give you a good giggle! YOu just let me know. I know you have to have somebody with you at all times but that would give you something to do. I wish there was someway to make this all easier on you. But Hey... you're missing all the disgusting weather here in Utah. You are probably basking in 80 degree weather in your string bikini!! LUCKY!!! I'm just joking with you but you would be the hottest pregnant girl in a 2 piece!!!

Please keep us informed of your day to day adventures. I think you'd be surprised to see how many people are interested in you and Tyson. We all want to know how your days go and what that little monkey is doing. And how he's dealing with his new surroundings! We miss you and can't wait to have you home. We seriously live on the best street ever. (Natalie has a good story to tell you but she would be mortified if I put it on the blog circuit.) We are all rooting for you and your family. And can't wait to have a big ol' BBQ when you come home!!! Love, Melissa

Bry and Meliss said...

What a sweetheart for a husband! It makes the tough things in life so much sweeter with someone by your side so willing to love and comfort you no matter what you are dealing with. Good for him! I am so glad to know you have someone to rely on so much. I'm sure that makes this whole process a little better. We are all SO anxious to hear from you, I love it when you post new things on your blog! It sounds like Chloe is in good hands too...that must be a HUGE relief! You are sacrificing so much right now, the blessings you are going to get from this will be ENDLESS! You are such a strong woman, I know if I had to go through it I wouldn't be as positive as you :)Keep up the spirits and know there are MANY people praying and thinking about you and your cute little family. Good luck!!!

Brady and Kristy said...

Jessica and Family,

I hope that everything goes well for you guys...thanks so much for sharing your thoughts and everything that is going on in your life. You guys are in our prayers and thoughts!

Brady and Kristy

tmbjensen said...


I read your post and I started crying. I can't even imagine any of what is going on with you and Tyson. What a neat experience this is also. You truly are an amazing person and I admire you for all your faith, love and hope that you are already giving to Tyson. He is so lucky to have you and Jared as parents. Our Heavenly Father knew he could send him to you because you truly love and care for him so much and you will take good care of him. Let me know if I can help out with Chloe. I am more than willing to watch her for you and Jared whenever, so tell Jared that. Take Care.

Krystal said...

What can I even are so amazing for telling your story and I am so grateful to hear it! How blessed you are to have a wonderful husband and caring family! Good luck on your road to recovery!

Tory & Zack B said...

Jess! Oh my gosh! Is everything ok with the baby and you? I sure hope so. Are you in San fran until the baby comes?
Tory Birkinshaw